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Talent Community Site!

GrouperEye- Start the Revolution! Join a talent community. Get a job or internship. Gain a reputation.

The future of college recruiting is here.  September 15th marks the day that everything changes.  GrouperEye.com, a new website dedicated to changing college recruiting forever, has launched with a sexy new makeover.

What is GrouperEye?  It is a solution to the status quo.  It is a new way for students and companies to connect.  Most importantly, it is a better way to find the perfect job- or the perfect student to fill that job. GrouperEye allows companies to build talent communities.

How does it work?  Companies create profiles, run challenges, and post updates that students can follow.  Students are able to follow the companies they are interested in, impress them with their smarts in case challenges, and get their foot in the door with the companies they really care about.  Sure beats going to a career fair and throwing your resume into the pile, huh?

Students- get an internship or entry level job because of what you can do.  Not what you look like on your resume, not where you went to school, and not how much you can charm someone in an interview.  Companies- find better talent.  Identify those diamonds in the rough that you would have missed using your conventional tools. And do it in a new, exciting, and scalable way.

The future is here. Join a talent community!

The trials and tribulations of an unpaid internship

I have collected every staple I have removed from files, and now have accumulated a ball of removed staples the size of a softball, and it is the only reason people ask me questions.

When my boss asked what it’s for, I told him I’m going to recycle it and get some money because you guys aren’t paying me for this internship.

“You’re coming with us.”

After my internship, I was walking through the Georgetown campus to get some food.  There is some high school visitor program going on, so these high schoolers and their parents are everywhere.

I’m walking on the sidewalk, and this lady and her kid pull up next to me to get directions.  She rolls the window down:

Lady:  “Excuse me, do you know where I can find the Darnell dorms?”

Me:  “Yeah, that was my dorm freshman year.  Keep going straight, then take a left, and it’s at the end of the road on the right.”

Lady:  “We can’t get through that way in the car because they are doing construction.”

Me:  “Okay, uhh… try taking a right and then–”

Lady:  “You’re coming with us.”

No one had ever asked me for directions and then told me to get in the car and show them.  I had nothing to do, so I was like yeah alright, let’s go.

We find the dorms.  Her son gets out and goes to do something for the program, and we are waiting on him.  She proceeds to show me pictures of her German Shepherd and two cats on her cell phone.  It was getting kind of weird so I asked her to take me back where I was so I could get some food.

All things considered, a very odd sequence of events.

Worst intern request ever. This is actually on craig’s list.

Found this from @mxmaione on Twitter.

MOST CHILL INTERNSHIP IN NYC:

music/film/art/internet/chilling (brooklyn)

ATTN: craigslist is stupid and is giving me an error for my email address. email me at sweeetamerica@gmail.com

Hi bro/brah/girl-bro

listen to this song while reading post: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o375ke8Csio&feature=related

We want you to be the best global intern brooklyn has ever chilled with.
We dont want you to just get coffee, we want a chiller to get coffee with us.

Who are WE?

We are four chill bros who just need more chillers. CHILLERS=INTERNS

NO SCRUBS, NO DRAMA QNS, MYT PITCH THIS TO MTV

Things You Will Gain From Interning For Us!!

+++COLLEGE CREDIT (seriously!)
free website FOR YOU (w/ free hosting for duration of employment)
multiple parts in popular web series
4 NEW FRIENDS!
meet very important people in “the business”
one free trip to coney island or pink berry (upper west side location ONLY)
any knowledge you’d like in: computer programming, art history, bicycle repair, circuit repair/bending, expressionist lighting, live sound, music production and composition, geography, mixology, 8bit music, guitar, chilling, cinema.

WE’RE in BANDS. OUR BANDS CONTRIBUTE TO THE WELLBEING OF ‘SOCIETY’

3/4 bros are in Lionshare.

LIONSHARE would expect the following of you: accompany us to all (100%) of our shows (free entry), consume a lot of free booze, share thoughts on unreleased materials, be able to leave a mtn dew in the freezer just longh enough so that it’s a lil frozen but not THAT
frozen. Just frozen enough. Manage the merch table at our shows, manage band out-reach opportunities, test microphone levels on stage, potentially drive us to-and-from shows, 3-4 foot vertical leap male, 1-2 feet female, lock picking skills, understanding spanish or java is a huge plus.

YOU WILL GAIN 10+ experience points in: remixes, producing, songwriting, contemporary art, the internet, reading, getting drunk,

our basement, grilling, teresa banks, our neighbor ricky, live sound, party pics.

BRO BREAKDOWN:

BRO #1; If you were gonna chill with this bro you would be moving around a lot, maybe carrying PAs from show to show. You will def get bought a monthly pass if asked to chill with this bro. you will also have to learn how to do a good headphone mix of a shitttttty fucking club in the 40s on the west side,. ugggggggh shit.

BRO #2: if you were to chill with this bro you will definitely need to <3 reading a whole lot. you will need to love “cinema”. to the max (go
to film forum alot.)

BRO #3: this bros into computer programming, contemporary art and internet shit, like programming. chill on the internet alot. having a delicious account + google voice is a huge +.

BRO #4: Bro #4 is fairly nocturnal. Everyday around 3 pm he’ll get an iced latté. you’d be expected to “come with.” he can wait for you to get coffee. Listening to music like hard techno happens a lot, whether it is “ironic” or “not” should be a debatable emotion for you. speaking french or german is a huge +++

expected hours of chilling a week? 2 -168 hours a week.

LETs meet this weekend/week and interview you!

Delivering peaches to Congressmen. Hilarity ensues.

Yesterday while working on the hill as a lowly intern, I found myself completing a most unusual and seemingly insignificant task–but because my importance on Capitol hill ranks perhaps even lower than that of the task within my office, and because I had nothing else to do, I enthusiastically agreed.

The task set forth to me by the complacent charlatan whose title is chief of staff was this: “go to congressman alexander’s office and help them deliver peaches, for as long as they need you.” slightly offended, admittedly surprised, and undoubtedly curious, my response wouldn’t exactly bring Proust mind: “ok, sounds good.”

An hour and a half later, after I had completed the deliveries of three dolleys-full of Ruston, LA peaches to dozens of congressional offices full of fatigued, lethargic staffers, I stumbled into the reception area of an office the congressman of which shall remain unnamed.

The receptionist, presumably another intern equally as unambitious as I, stared at the box of peaches I plopped down on his desk with a raised eyebrow.  Here is the conversation that took place.

Me: “These fresh peaches are from congressman Alexander. They’re delicious. You guys enjoy them.”

Guy:  “Are you from Georgia?”

Me: “No, Louisiana actually.”

Guy:  “Why the fuck would I eat peaches from Louisiana?”

Me:  “they’re free, they’re delicious, and I brought- -”

Guy:  “Look guy- -”

Me:  “I”m not your guy, buddy- -”

Guy:  “Yeah I watch South Park too, pal.  But would you accept, and eat, a sack of potatoes if the unknown delivery boy said they were from South Dakota?”

Me:  “Hm, not sure. I guess they would have to be from Idaho.”

Guy (after opening the box):   “Two are missing.”

Me:  “Yeah, they were casualties if the delivery.  I ate them on the way here, asshole.”

Guy:  “In that case, I’ll definitely take them.  Good day.”

Iced by hot intern, round 2

I was recently talking to my friend, the guy from the story “Iced by hot intern.”  He was the guy who got iced by the hot intern. Had another run in with the hot intern, here’s how it went down:

Yo I just had another run in with the hot intern

her line:   “oh are you checking the fire extinguishers again?”

my line :  “No, this sector of the building is secure”

Ran into boss at a strip club

Some friends and I went to a strip club on an arbitrary Tuesday night.  Out of all the strip clubs in the city, I went to the same one that my boss decided to attend for the evening.  I ran into him, and my first thoughts were, “Wow, I look like a total jackass. I hope he doesn’t tell anyone at the office.”  Then I figured he was thinking the same thing.  We decided it was in our mutual interest keep this one out of the office, and we had a pretty fun night.

From the noobpwner himself

This is a funny story that is short and sweet.  I was sitting next to a fellow intern yesterday and she was trying to figure out how to add things on excel.  She kept asking me how to do it and the conversation went like this.

Dumb Girl:  “How do you add things up on excel?”

Me:  “You are such a noob.  Did you not take any excel classes for noobs?”

Dumb Girl: “What is a noob?”

Me:  “Someone who gets pwned by me.”

Dumb Girl:  “You’re weird.”

Me:  “At least I’m not a noob.”

Mazda chilling

Tripp and I were cruising around DC the other day.  We came up to a stoplight, and next us was an overweight Asian man blasting Linkin Park from his red Mazda coupe.

Of course, we pulled up to him at the the next stoplight blasting Linkin Park from our car as well.  We gave him a few fist pumps.  He flicked us off and drove away.